A MOMENT OF SHEER REALISATION

One second i'm standing there, then i'm on the floor

A kick to the stomach, but im expecting more

I make him mad but I don't know why

Hit to my face but I shall not cry

For him I’d catch a bullet, for him I’d die

He picks me up, in his arms I lie

He sits there crying, as we lay on the bed

Wipes away my tears, and strokes my head

He says I can leave, but on the bed I still lay

He tells me to go, but he knows I will stay

He says he knows his actions were wrong

But asks me to stay with him, to stay and be strong

I wipe the tears off his face

Catch a look in the mirror, what a disgrace

Not him but me, a reflection I don't like to see

Till now ive been controlled by a tightfisted hand

I want to leave but I don't think I can

Without him i’m alone

To leave the safety and enter the unknown

But what if his next hit is too much to handle

If after the next punch, you're lighting a candle

With no warning and no preparation

I hit a moment of sheer realisation

Only I knew of his manipulation and my desperation

The behaviour i’d defend for my self preservation

Finding myself took a river of tears

Time to love me and overcome these fears

Time to reach out and find my old friends

The love for them, that had not come to an end

With my friends by my side, I walked out that door

Started afresh, looked back no more

It took all my courage that I struggled to find

But I picked myself up, I left him behind.