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A MOMENT OF SHEER REALISATION
One second i'm standing there, then i'm on the floor
A kick to the stomach, but im expecting more
I make him mad but I don't know why
Hit to my face but I shall not cry
For him I’d catch a bullet, for him I’d die
He picks me up, in his arms I lie
He sits there crying, as we lay on the bed
Wipes away my tears, and strokes my head
He says I can leave, but on the bed I still lay
He tells me to go, but he knows I will stay
He says he knows his actions were wrong
But asks me to stay with him, to stay and be strong
I wipe the tears off his face
Catch a look in the mirror, what a disgrace
Not him but me, a reflection I don't like to see
Till now ive been controlled by a tightfisted hand
I want to leave but I don't think I can
Without him i’m alone
To leave the safety and enter the unknown
But what if his next hit is too much to handle
If after the next punch, you're lighting a candle
With no warning and no preparation
I hit a moment of sheer realisation
Only I knew of his manipulation and my desperation
The behaviour i’d defend for my self preservation
Finding myself took a river of tears
Time to love me and overcome these fears
Time to reach out and find my old friends
The love for them, that had not come to an end
With my friends by my side, I walked out that door
Started afresh, looked back no more
It took all my courage that I struggled to find
But I picked myself up, I left him behind.